Satisfactory
 
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A word from catErina Parks:

 
 

Do you have no family, friends, pets or lawyers? Are you finally realizing you’re not contributing to the future of humankind? Or perhaps you’re one of those people weirdly fascinated with taking unnecessary risks? Have you always wanted to donate your body to an unknown cause? Are you content with being paid with purpose instead of money? Do you like rabbits?

Well it’s your lucky day, because I am here to give your useless life meaning. We're looking for new recruits - just like you - to bestow upon the honor of working with me as part of the Alpha team. You get to be among the first recruits to take part in our secret project - and with that comes extra prestige and risk! It's a win-win!

If you sign up with your e-mail (that blank box on the right, or it might be below. If you can’t tell left from right… too bad) we’ll give you access to our new program. You'll be subject to an intense screening, background tests, tissue-samples, and your own permanent personal squad of stalkers. Be humane and give them coffee once in awhile, they’re your responsibility now.

Looking forward to your application.

Caterina Parks,
CEO of None of Your Business Until You’re Selected, now stop slacking and sign up.

* Invitations to the alpha will be limited. Registering does not guarantee an alpha invitation.